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You gotta ask yourself one question, Do I feel lucky?, well, do ya Punk?
Once upon a time, there was a famous hollywood actor called Clint Eastwood, he starred in many memorable flicks of the
50's, 60's and 70's and they all seemed to revolve around one plot...Cowboys. Now Cowboys have been dead for over a
hundred years now, but still directors feel the need to make films about them, and actors still want to star as them.
This is the story of one of those acotors... Clint was a normal young boy of totally normal proportions, he grew up in a place
in America, lets call this place "Cityville". Years passed and Clint became famous and made lots of films and lots of
money... Then, the defining moment in his career came, he was cast in "Space Cowboys". The film title is a total contradiction
within itself, Space Cowboys? What do they do ride intergalactical space mules and say stuff like "This Nebula aint big enough
for the both of us". Well whilst the general population were wondering about the confusing film title Clint was off
making the movie. It became instantly obvious that the film wasnt about "Space Cowboys", more about a group of senile
Hollywood actors who had nothing better to do...anyway, i'm straying from the story. Clint made the film and lots of
money. Gullible fools seemed to enjoy the idea of sending O.A.P.'s into space. THE END
NEWSFLASH == Gareth Gates, China Plates == NEWSFLASH
It has just been reported that famous popstar Gareth Gates has been stealing expensive Chinaware Plates from the world
famous Harrods of London. It is feared that over £100,000 worth of China has been grifted by the cheeky Pop Idol.
Police have described the case as suspicious and Mohammed Al Fayed has issued this statement "How dare that cock sucking excuse
for a popstar come into my store and steal my China!".
Senor Grahams - International Giraffe Of Mystery
There was a giraffe called senor grahams. He lived deep in the heart of africa and liked to roam on the savannah.
He ate leaves and grass and anything which took his fancy. Then one day a furtive fiend filched his food supply.
The fiend was called Grand Master Koala and he had come all the way from Australia to steal Senor Grahams' food. Senor
Grahams was angry and he spead off to Grand Master Koala's evil lair in Ayers Rock searching for blood and vengeance.
He sneaked in under the cover of day and Grand Master Koala was taken completely off gaurd. Senor Grahams used his super
laser device to defeat Grand Master Koala and the day was won. Senor Grahams reclaimed his food and was overwhelmed
with joy. Upon returning to the savannah, his many friends threw a massive party to celebrate. However the lions,
leopards and cheetahs could not resist such a large gathering of free meat and many Giraffe fell to the carnivores that night...including
Senor Grahams...it remains a mystery, to this day as to the whereabouts of Senor Grahams' food however. And each year
the Kenyan government organises experditions into the savannah to search for it... THE END
Earth: The Final Frontier
Cecil Spencer Roger Peterson IV Esq. was a normal young boy until his life was turned upside down.............by an EARTQUAKE!!!!!
The Earthquake left his life and home shattered and in ruins until of his luck a spaceship landed where his house used to
stand "How Queer!" he pndered and his father's monacle fell out of his eye out of shock on several occasions. From
the craft sprang forth a multitude of different lifeforms, all resembling various types of vegetable like carrots, leeks and
potatoes. Most intriguing was the cabbage and Cecil's father commented "How intriguing".........just then however,
the world started to quake once more as they all sat worried that they would be swallowed up by a giant crevace...but the
aliens had brought an anti-earthquake-seismic-regulation-and-reparation device which quickly solved the problem....but as
all were rejoicing around a crefully built bonfire at the prospect of peaceful life with alien vegetables.....a terrible thought
came into Cecil's mind. "What if the aliens aren't here to make peace but to instead whisk us away and show us the stars"...."Most
intriguing indeed" commented his father after brekaing his fourteenth lens of the evening...however they were both wrong
and the vegetables promptly killed them, ate them and stole their clothes. But all was not over, the aliens had many other
strange devices like the positronicnukeometer which basically destroyed whole galaxies with the push of the button......4
pushes of the button later and the earth was no more....a sad end to humanity and the only intelligent life-form in the galaxy.
However, god did not like this thoughtless act of immorality and smote the vegetables....he smote them well. THE END
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